


Do you remember?

by Tardis_Witch



Series: Supernatural drabbles [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brothers, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Faith, Nostalgia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 14:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7364755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tardis_Witch/pseuds/Tardis_Witch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean calls Sam and brings up a subject that may have been better left unsaid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do you remember?

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series of drabbles I wrote a few years ago as I was watching Supernatural for the first time. I honestly don't remember exactly when I wrote this, but I think it was supposed to happen after season 5, in a world where Sam didn't die/he came back not soulless and continued hunting while Dean settled down with Lisa and Ben.

As Sam promised, he stayed in touch, calling Dean on a regular basis. Dean picked up the phone after work one day, for his scheduled call from Sammy.  
"Hey Sammy," he said.  
"Hi Dean," came the reply.  
Dean closed his eyes. He wished he could be out there with Sam. Working, keeping him safe. Living on the road, sleeping in motels, surviving on poker winnings and credit card fraud; the whole shebang.  
But he'd made a promise and now he had an obligation to Lisa and Ben. They were his family now.  
He cleared his thought. With Sam and Bobby back in his life, there was one other person he'd like to see again. Even if it was just once.  
"Any word from Cas?" He asked.  
Sam scoffed, "Still nothing. Not that I expected any different. He stopped the apocalypse. Probably doesn't give a damn about us anymore."  
Dean was silent for a moment. Then, "Sam," he paused, "remember when you used to pray everyday?"  
Sam met this with his own silence, then answered bitterly, "Yeah, that was before I found out heaven was inhabited by dicks and God bailed on us a long time ago."  
"Well, sometimes I wish you never had found out," Dean muttered softly.  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
Dean sighed, "I don't know. It's like when a 3 year old finds out Santa's not real and then Christmas is ruined for him the rest of his life."  
"Dean, we never believed in Santa," Sam said flatly.  
"That's not the point."  
Sam exhaled loudly, "Are you saying you wish I stayed ignorant of how the world really works?" he asked. "Dean, how could you even say that?" he demanded accusatorily, "knowing the truth is always better? You said so yourself!"  
"I know," Dean snapped. "I know that. It's just...." another sigh. "You've lost your hope."  
"What?"  
"That was the chief difference between you and me for a long time Sammy. I had no hope, _you_ did. You always did. Hope for a better world, a better future, a better place. You believed all that crap about God and Angels and I never did."  
"But it's just that: crap." Sam retorted. "I'm better off with it. It's no like my faith ever helped me."  
"You don't get it Sammy," Dean said, trying to explain, "Maybe you don't see it, and maybe you don't feel like it helped, but it did. At the very least, seeing your faith helped me, sometimes."

**Author's Note:**

> When I was writing this it didn't actually end. Dean was about to go on a long explanation of how he was hurt by his lack of faith and hope and how Sam helped him or how he didn't want to see Sam become dark and depressed or something, but I never finished it and I no longer remember what it was supposed to say. So I kind of lamely finished it up :/


End file.
